Femdom Life My Philosophy My Protocols Realtime Play  slave training service self training owned male chastity lifestyle learning femdom enslavement discipline D/s collar chastity bdsm education bdsm anticipatory training

Self-training for BDSM Slaves

Odds are you’re fantasized about what it would be like to be ‘owned’. Maybe you even hope to make that fantasy a reality one day. But what is there about you which might make a truly superior woman want to own you? What kinds of talents, skills & resources do you have that would make you a worthy investment of her time & attention? One way to prepare for ownership is by training yourself in ways that will hopefully prepare you to be a better slave even before you find your dream domme. I like to call this sort of activity ‘anticipatory training’.

What is anticipatory training?

Anticipatory training includes everything you might do on your own to prepare and make yourself a better catch for your prospective future domme. There are a lot of possibilities for how you can spend your time & energy. Just like you would put some planning into any other big project it will pay for you to put some thought into this.

There’s no reason why you can’t have a slave training program mapped out for yourself, and every reason why you should. Gaining skills that might please your future Mistress is enough of a win all by itself. But there are other benefits to anticipatory training too. For one thing, if you put some thought into your slave training program you can tailor what you learn to the sort of domme you hope to have. For instance, if you have a huge foot fetish it could be very useful to learn to give professional-quality pedicures. Skills like that will help to attract the foot Goddess you’re hoping to find.

 

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Another VERY important benefit of anticipatory training is that it gets you in the habit of learning things. Regardless of what you already know your dream domme will want you to learn to do things HER way. Practicing the habit of self-discipline will prepare you to be disciplined about reaching whatever goals she may set for you.

Training yourself to be a better slave

So what are some things you might do as anticipatory training?  To start with you can learn useful skills. As I mentioned above, exactly which skills you learn might be tailored to the kind of domme you hope to attract. But many skills – such as cooking, sewing, home repairs, giving manicures & pedicures – would be appreciated by most women. You can learn lots of things by just searching for tutorials online. But you can also take things to a whole new level and really set yourself apart by taking professional level courses.

You can also educate yourself on a more general level. Read a new book every week.  Start watching documentaries. Get to know the history of where you live, or become an expert in local highlights so that when she visits your town you can be the perfect guide. Learn about art, music, architecture so you’ll have things to talk about with the cultured & sophisticated woman you long to kneel to. Learning such things will make you more attractive to a truly superior woman. Plus they’ll keep your life full and rich while you’re waiting to meet her.

 

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One final area that you can train yourself in anticipation of being owned is simply by taking care of yourself. Many leaders in the BDSM community will say that the first rule for any slave is “protect the property”. Among other things this means that your responsibility when you’re not owned is to take the best possible care of yourself. Take care of yourself so that when you accept her collar you are surrendering to her a well-cared for piece of valuable property and not a busted up piece of junk.

Taking care of yourself in this context obviously covers diet and exercise but also so much more. It means taking care of your health: get those regular physicals and teeth cleanings and address any problems that might turn up. It includes your grooming. Beyond the basics of showering, shaving, and brushing your teeth you can do SO much: taking care of your skin & nails (wear sunscreen!), keep your hair nicely styled, wear good cologne. You might try doing some ‘manscaping’ and getting your back, chest, or other bits waxed. And you certainly should make sure your wardrobe is decent. Banish all the old, stained, and torn things from your closet and try for some style when replacing them. Consider hiring a woman stylist to help you; what better way to know what might appeal to other women?

How NOT to train yourself

There are a few things that you absolutely should NOT consider as anticipatory training. By all means you can do these things if you like. Just don’t fall into the mistake of thinking of them as services or skills that will in any way set you apart from other subguys. Using any kind of sex toys falls into this category. Again, it’s ok to play but recognize that it is for YOU, not for any future mistress. I’ve yet to meet the domme who thinks “able to take a huge butt plug” is a good selling point for a slave! The one possible exception to this is wearing a chastity device. Finding a well-fitting device and getting accustomed to wearing it can be a lengthy process. There are many dommes who would be happy to find you already “broken in” this way.

One last thing you should never think of as anticipatory training is going out and buying tons of bdsm gear or sexy clothes. (I’m talking to you, sissy!) Most dominant women won’t care what you have in your toy chest; they’ll enjoy picking out the things they want for you. If you’re devoting a lot of resources to buying things you want while being stingy with her she’s likely to be offended. And you could ruin your own chances with her.

 

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Are you hoping to be owned one day? Let’s talk about how you can improve yourself & become a better catch!

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