Once upon a time there was this guy in the local scene I had a massive predatory-domme crush on. We’d been chatting online for a while, things were going really well, and I could not wait to get my hands (and my cigarette!) on his body. He seemed like a sadistic bitch’s dream come true. But then, as a preliminary to arranging an in-the-flesh meeting with him, I asked him to perform a small test of obedience and sincerity.
I asked him to buy something off my wishlist.
I literally said to him “There are things on my list that cost $1. This is a test. Please don’t fail.” Now that is hardly mercenary or unreasonable is it? I mean, think about it: He claimed that as my slave he would eventually give me everything he owned – if he wasn’t willing to give me even $1 to start how could I trust that he’d ever follow through with more? I was excited because we’d talked about doing all kinds of edgy stuff; if he wasn’t actually willing to risk sending me $1, how could I believe he’d really be willing to let me burn him? How could I trust he’d even actually shell out for the hotel room for our playdate?
He flipped out. Started calling me a “findom” as if that were some kind of horrible insult (and in some parts of the bdsm world it is). He kept ranting about how he wanted REAL slavery as if offering up his hide for me to burn (i.e. satisfying his fetish fantasy) but refusing to spend the cost of a McDondald’s cheeseburger (i.e. do anything of even a tiny amount of practical value to me) somehow made it “real”.
That experience opened my eyes. I realized that the excuses you guys use to avoid opening your wallets were the biggest piles of bullshit and no matter how reasonable and un-mercenary I was you were still going to throw that bullshit at me. I decided after that to say “fuck it, if I’m going to get accused of being a findom I might as well BE one” and that’s when I started my explorations in the financial fetish communities.
What I discovered there surprised me some. I found that the stereotype of the duck-lipped, bird-flipping scammer exists more as a bogey(wo)man in the collective mind of the larger kink community than in actuality. On the contrary, not only do most guys not fall for that shit but more experienced findommes are quick to educate clueless newbies about things like SSC, basic safety practices, and the importance of establishing a real connection with your sub. You know, exactly the same things new dommes learn in any other kink niche. I’ve also found that finsubs seem to be more polite and pleasant to deal with than the crude, demanding louts that’re the norm out there in the bdsm world. I am finding that I’m not unhappy to be counted as a ‘Findom’ at all.
I’m setting the bar quite a bit higher nowadays. I’m tired of dealing with those wankers who are forever mired in poverty; I want to play with the slaveboy who can afford a work of art from Steelwerks instead of a CB6000, a sissy girl who can spring for that elegant handmade maid’s uniform. And above all I want to play with males who comprehend that a woman like me is worth not merely making empty promises to but actually spoiling.
Because you know, how do you think it made me feel when that guy threw a fit about spending a measly $1? I sure didn’t feel like he adored and worshiped me. I felt like he considered me not even worth the cost of a cheeseburger. In fact, it felt like he expected me to be his free fetish delivery system. Can you wonder that I suddenly had zero desire to use my cigarette torturess skills on him?
Funny thing is, he continued to pester me for a year and a half afterward, until I got sick of it and blocked him. He kept messaging me and sending me emails, complaining that I could have burned so much of his body by then. Complaining that he’d wanted “real slavery” that I was denying him. And never, ever getting it – he wanted it so, so bad, but not bad enough to open his wallet even a tiny little bit.
HE was the one who decided the money was more important than everything else, not me.
~Are you ready to serve a Woman of genuine worth and quality? You can find information about the positions I currently have open here.~