Femdom Life My Philosophy My Protocols  slave training slave protocols lifestyle femdom Domme style D/s contracts bdsm

Basics of BDSM Slave Contracts

What is a slave contract?

Simply put, a bdsm slave contract is a negotiated agreement detailing the boundaries and expectations of each party. Whenever you embark on a Mistress/slave relationship with me you’ll have an agreement like this. And because I like to keep things clear and consistent this agreement will probably exist in some written form even if it’s not obviously a “contract”.

Why have a slave contract?

Which brings me to the first very excellent reason reason for having a slave contract: clarity and consistency. It’s a lot easier for you to follow my commands if you know exactly what they are and having written guidelines certainly helps with this. Putting your duties as my slave in writing ensures that the orders I’ve given are clearly understood. It also ensures that you can refer back to my instructions for your slave training tasks if you ever forget something or just aren’t sure about what to do.

The process of negotiating what to include in our D/s agreement also gives me the opportunity to assess your skills, need & desires so that I can make the best use of you as my servant. Likewise it gives you the opportunity to learn about my expectations & methods, to determine for yourself whether you truly wish to submit to me as your Mistress. Going through this discovery process helps to make sure we both know what to expect from each other and are happy with those expectations.

As I said this agreement might be kept simply as notes somewhere, or even as a series of emails or text messages. But there’s also a LOT of erotic potential in the process of creating a proper slave contract. Talking about the hot, sexy things I’m going to do to you – and the sluttish, humiliating things you’re going to do for me – is obviously very exciting! Indeed, some submissives have a full-on fetish for making up slave contracts without necessarily having the desire or ability to follow through on them. Which is why many Dommes (myself included) charge for our time & effort in creating these documents.

What to put in a slave contract

The first thing that any D/s agreement must have is a statement regarding boundaries. This is essential to guaranteeing that everyone involved has consented to the things we do, even if they might look like abuse to an outsider. Before you do anything as Mistress & slave you should each know what the other’s limits are. For instance you wouldn’t want to find yourself tied up and about to be branded if ‘no permanent marks’ is one of your hard limits!

When I discuss boundaries with a new slave I generally ask him what his hard limits are now – and also what they were five years ago. Why do I do this? Because these limits do change over time. You may find something incredibly erotic now that you never thought you’d be interested in. You may also find that things you’ve fantasized about for years aren’t as much fun to actually do as you thought they’d be.

This is where the idea of “soft limits” vs “hard limits” comes in handy. Think of your hard limits as the places you absolutely do not want to go at the present time. Wheras your soft limits are areas that are turn-offs or maybe even kind of scary to you now, but that you might be willing to explore with the right person in the right circumstances.

 

Femdom Life My Philosophy My Protocols  slave training slave protocols lifestyle femdom Domme style D/s contracts bdsm

 

Another thing I always include in my slave training contracts are my expectations regarding communication. I’ll want to know (and I will want you to know) how often you’re expected to check in with me, and whether those contacts are coming by email, text message, phone call or whatever. Having this written down once again provides a clear & consistent structure for you to follow. It’s also useful for preventing anybody from getting too worried if they don’t hear from each other for a while. (Yes, I do actually care whether you’re still alive & kicking!  ;p )

A few words about your physical need (and desires) is another thing I like to include in my slave contracts. Things like whether you have diabetes or bad knees need to be taken into account when I’m deciding how I want to dominate, use & abuse you. And I’m sure you’d like me to know if for instance you crave daily spankings.

The precise details of our Mistress/slave contract will be unique to our relationship; no two submissives are exactly alike. If it’s warranted this topic might include lifestyle details about your diet and exercise. I might have goals for you that include losing (or gaining) weight or achieving some other physical objective such as taking progressively larger butt plugs.

My goals for you as my slave may or may not include changes to your diet, exercise, etc but I will certainly have goals of some sort. That’s kind of implicit in the word “training” right? A list of what these goals are – and the steps I expect you to take to reach them – is absolutely something you can expect to find in your slave contract with me. These will be the clear & consistent instructions which you’re expected to follow, and which you can refer back to at any time.

Enforcing your slave contract

It has been said that slavery is a commitment you make to yourself. This is very true; when you come right down to it you have to follow through on the promises expressed in our slave training contract. This is consensual slavery therefore I have no legal right to compel you to follow my orders.

Nor am I going to waste my time trying; that’s no fun at all for me and I have better things to do. I understand that shit happens and sometimes you’ll stumble. But if we’ve negotiated an agreement & you consistently fail to follow through I will simply drop you and move on to another slave. If you’re just jerking off to the idea of having a contract that’s fine & I can have a lot of fun talking about it with you. But never expect me to treat you like an obedient servant unless you’re acting like one!

That said, any good bdsm contract should include punishment protocols spelling out what will happen in the event the slave screws something up. Possible punishments might include anything from monetary fines and physical beatings to extra chores or extra humiliation. As I said before I expect you to at least try to follow my orders. But the flip side of that is that you can also expect me to be consistent; to maintain my standards and be ready to firmly discipline you when you fail to meet them. As a true slave you need this structure, and as MY slave you deserve to get it.

When, why & how to change your Mistress/slave contract

Your needs, desires, abilities & limits WILL change. A good slave contract needs to be adaptable and able to accommodate such changes. I like to write in to my contracts a re-negotiation deadline. Your slave training contract will “expire” on a set date; at that time it must be renegotiated and renewed. This doesn’t have to be complicated. Our contract can simply be tweaked to adapt to any changes and renewed with a later deadline. Unless of course writing the contract is part of the fun for you – it kind of is for me, lol! – in which case we can make it as big a deal as we want it to be.

I generally make my slave training contracts for 1 month to start. Then I’ll make the contract term longer with each renewal. (e.g. 3 months, then 6 months, then a year) It’s also a very good idea to write down what to do if the slave has an issue that can’t wait until the next contract deadline. I like to include this in my bdsm slave contracts as well. Slave contracts with very high levels of protocol, such as orders that the slave may not speak unless he is spoken to, might even include instructions for what he should do any time he needs to bring a problem to the attention of his Mistress.

Interested in having a slave contract of your own? I bet you are! Or else why would you be reading this? I have a few pre-written contracts for different positions (such as my sissy slave contract) which you can purchase and drool over. Then when you’re ready you may contact me to begin discussing YOUR slave training contract.  *wickedgrin*

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