Online vs Offline Femdom

So far in most of my posts about bdsm slave training I’ve been talking about my slave training programs for in-the-flesh servants. But there are definite – and very important – distinctions to be made when we’re engaged in a D/s power exchange relationship online, via phone, etc. I wouldn’t say that an online Mistress/slave relationship is less valid or meaningful than one which happens in the flesh. But there are significant differences which should be taken into account.

You get what you give, online or off

One thing that remains the same whether you’re playing in the flesh or have an online Mistress/slave relationship with me is this truth: the more you put into it the more you’ll get out of it. The emotional thrill can be equally powerful, the feelings of weakness and submission just as deep. You can lose yourself in subspace just as much with online female domination as you can in person. Maybe even more – the nature of online bdsm encourages longer, more drawn-out play that seeps into & takes over your entire life. Whereas in-the-flesh submission often evaporates the minute your dungeon scene is over.

The depth of connection in online D/s can be just as profound and lasting too. It is certainly possible to have a 24/7 power exchange, complete and total ownership, in an online Mistress/slave relationship. It only requires self-discipline. The sub has to be able to follow through on his Mistress’s commands when she’s not in the same room. And frankly, self-discipline is a huge requirement for bdsm slaves anyway. In the long run you must choose to obey; this is consensual slavery after all!

 

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Physical domination vs mental domination

It’s easier for a lot of men to get into submissive headspace when the experience is fully immersive, engaging all the senses. And that can take more mental effort on the online Domme’s part. She can’t just reach out and smack you with her crop when you stray. She has to get creative & put more forethought into exactly how she can ‘touch’ you.

I think this is the main reason why traditional bdsm activities such as bondage & spanking are less prevalent in online D/s play. Those sorts of activities are much more practical to do in the flesh, and arguably more satisfying. But there are many things which can be done with cyber domination that simply aren’t possible in the flesh. For instance, say I wanted to play an alien queen with a dozen tentacles writhing at her crotch about to ravish you. This scene would be a lot easier to do convincingly in a phone session than in person!

Porn fantasy isn’t SSC

It can be tempting to go all out in this direction and order the slave to do things which can’t be done with reasonable safety. And you’ll often see such scenarios in femdom porn clips (including mine). I don’t know about other ladies but I have zero expectations of any subguy actually following my orders from a video clip. I know he’s probably just going to jerk off to the idea and not follow through. Assuming he’s paid me for it I’m ok with that awareness. (One reason why tributes & gifts are even more important online!) So I’m not too concerned with making sure my orders fit into the realm of “safe, sane & consensual” when it comes to porn clips etc.

 

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Now if I put in the time/effort to pay special attention to you things are different. If I give you individual orders, create a slave training program or even write a bdsm slave contract for you then you damn well better follow through. I won’t hesitate to toss you to the curb if you don’t! And in those cases safety is just as important as it is in person. Possibly more so: I’m not in the room, able to directly gauge your physical state and intervene if necessary. Therefore it becomes crucial for me to be precise in my instructions (and for you to be precise in following them!) to make sure you’re not seriously injured.

Meeting people & finding community

Put very simplistically you could say that in-the-flesh Femdom is more about dominating the body while an online Mistress/slave relationship is more about dominating the mind. The potential for wicked fun exists in both. And either can fulfill your need to serve (and my need to be served). There are a few other significant differences though. For one thing you’ll probably find much more in the way of community support offline. The folks you meet in your online bdsm group are waaaay less likely to, for instance, come to your aid if a fire burns down your dungeon & you have to start over. Not saying online folks would never be supportive like that, it’s just a lot less likely.

On the other hand an online Mistress/slave relationship can be much more practical and attainable for many people. Say you’re married or have other responsibilities that demand a lot of your time & attention; online D/s might be the perfect outlet for your submissive urges. And text or phone domination can work beautifully for those who have physical limitations such as arthritis, back problems, or other disabling conditions.

Online and in-the-flesh domination each have their own advantages, and their own disadvantages. But they also share many similarities. Personally, what I like best is to use a combination of both. For instance I might have a sub in a city far away who is my online slave most of the time, but who gets to serve me in person when I’m visiting his town. Do you have any thoughts on the differences between in-the-flesh and online Mistress/slave relationship? Tell me in the comments below!

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Visit My sessions page to explore your options for becoming My slave, online or off

 

Slave Opening: Errand Boy

This position is exactly what it sounds like: you will run errands for me. Errands will include things like taking my shoes or jewelry to be repaired, dropping off/picking up dry cleaning, running to the post office, and other small tasks. Many of these tasks will require you to pay for minor (under $50) expenses.

Requirements

As my errand boy you are required to be reliable & trustworthy. You will of course need reliable transportation too. And your schedule needs to be flexible enough that you can complete the tasks I give you within about a week. I'll not be asking you to take care of anything urgent but I don't want to wait too long for my commands to be executed.

I say errand 'boy' because I feel that Femdom/malesub dynamics are underrepresented in the bdsm canon. But submissives of all genders are welcome to apply for this position!

Logistics

How often I command you to run errands for me is open to negotiation. Two or three times a month is what I have in mind. Budgetary limits will also be included in our negotiated agreement (which may or may not be written as a slave contract).

Since this is an in-person position I'm primarily looking for an errand boy in my hometown of St. Petersburg, Florida. However I do love to travel, and can often use the services of a good minion in the cities I visit. If you don't live near me but you'd still like to serve as my errand boy you may ask to be added to my travel announcements list.

Rewards

The joy of serving will be a significant reward for you. You'll have the deep fulfillment that comes from pleasing your Mistress and helping her live the lifestyle she deserves.

But since I realize you horny bitches will beg to know: yes there'll be rewards of a more sensual nature too. I have rather a kink for bdsm slave training, and I'm pretty good at it. By which I mean the art of making ordinary chores erotically exciting for the male submissive. This could mean something as simple as ordering you to wear panties or a butt plug while you're serving. Or it could involve activities that are even more deviously debasing. So yes, I always strive to add that something extra, transforming these errands from ordinary chores into erotic exercises in submission.

There may also be dedicated private play time if you're really good and serve me exceptionally well.  *evilgrin*

 

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Apply to be My errand boy

Silk fetish scarf care & storage

Compared to latex, leather, or even rope silk scarves are very easy care fetish gear. They do need to be washed often; when used in bdsm play silk fetish scarves tend to be worn in places (and used in ways) that get them quite dirty. And for goodness sake if you have pretty silk scarves you certainly should use them! Objects which are so beautiful & sensually delightful deserve to be experienced.

 

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Washing & drying silk fetish scarves

Silk scarves should be washed by hand in lukewarm water using baby shampoo, Woolite, or other detergent formulated for delicate fabrics. They can be put in the washing machine on delicate. But odds are pretty high of the fabric getting snagged so I wouldn’t recommend it. If you decide to go that route a mesh lingerie bag will help minimize the risk of damage to your beautiful silk fetish scarves.

Swishing the scarf around in the soapy water for a few seconds should be enough to clean it. Then make sure you thoroughly rinse the scarf out in cool water. Next you can hang the scarf to dry in a well-ventilated area. Or you can roll it up in a towel to gently press excess water out of it. Don’t wring-dry your delicate silk scarves! When the scarf is dry (or nearly dry) finish by ironing right up to the rolled edge of the scarf (aka the roulette).

Storing scarves

High quality designer scarves can be stored folded in their original boxes, but why waste such beauty? Scarf display frames can be found or made to showcase them like any other artwork. Special scarf hangers are handy for keeping scarves organized & accessible, which helps if you like to actually wear them. (Or use them in the dungeon…) Larger scarves and saris can also be folded & stored on pants hangers. Stored on hangers like this scarves also make a lovely display in the closet or dressing room.

 

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Traveling with silk fetish scarves

Silk scarves are so lightweight and compact that they’re just about ideal for travel, both as fashion accessories and as bdsm gear. They take up very little space but it’s still good to keep them together. This will help you find the scarf you want when you want it, and also protect them from getting snagged on other things in your luggage.

You can keep a collection of scarves in a smaller bag, like a lingerie bag, inside your suitcase. Longer scarves can be laid out together and tied together in a simple thumb knot. For shorter scarves you can either choose one and tie it around the rest of the bunch, or gather them all into a bundle with the sturdiest (or cheapest) scarf on the outside tied into a bag.

Final thoughts: kinky scarf play

For many people seeing whips, ropes, or chains hung on the dungeon wall is a huge turn-on. Just imagine what racks full of scarves would look like! An opulent den of iniquity, waiting to lure you into the realm of perverse pleasures. For a silk fetishist like me this would be heaven.

As pretty (and sometimes valuable!) as they are you may be reluctant to ever do anything which might damage your silk scarves. But if you’re using them for bondage it’s still a good idea to keep bandage scissors nearby. In the event of an emergency your sub is more valuable than any scarf.

Got any scarf care tips? Share them in comments below!

BDSM Protocols 101

Protocols are part of the structure so necessary in a d/s relationship. They help each of us feel in our proper place. D/s protocols are also part of the fun! But what exactly is a protocol? Put simply, a protocol is a behavioral ritual, consciously designed & chosen to express or reinforce our respective roles in our Mistress/slave relationship.

 

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Protocols belong in writing

If you have a bdsm slave contract you should certainly write your D/s protocols into it. I highly recommend writing them down even if you don’t have a contract. Most pro Dommes (both online and off) will have a statement of protocols somewhere. It might be called her ‘rules’ or something similar, but it will always tell you how she expects you to behave when you contact her, when you meet her, etc.

BDSM events often have their own protocols. These protocols are commonly noted on the invitation and often spelled out in more detail on any website, Facebook page etc associated with the event. When in doubt about the protocols of an event you wish to attend don’t hesitate to ask! Event organizers would much rather answer your questions & have everyone follow the required protocols.

Universal bdsm protocols

The bdsm community considers very few things to be universal protocols. These tend to be very basic and mainly involve issues of SAFETY and CONSENT. Just because someone is a sub doesn’t mean he’s my sub. And just because someone is a Domme doesn’t mean she’s your Domme. These two rules are perfect examples of truly universal protocols. Neither one of us should ever assume that we’ll automatically get attention/domination/submission/obedience from the other!

On a similar note you should never meddle with another Domme’s slave (i.e. property) without their permission. Which doesn’t obligate a Lady to do a background check to find out if a subguy belongs to another Mistress. Owned slaves will usually tell you straight up – they’re proud to be owned! And if he doesn’t mention it a simple question will do. Any slave who is truly owned won’t lie about it so he can play around with another Domina. Most Dommes will happily give permission for other folks to torment their slaves, so a truly loyal slave wouldn’t need to lie anyway. The subguys who do lie tend to be community sluts who like the feeling of being called slave but who have no deep loyalty to any one Mistress. They will flit from Domme to Domme and it makes no sense at all for a Mistress to waste her time/energy on protests; feeling betrayed by this is just silly.

Common but not universal

There are other protocols which aren’t universal but are quite common. These might include rules like ‘furniture is for Mistress; slaves sit on the floor’ and ‘slaves speak only when spoken to’. Forms of address – i.e. whether you should call her ‘Mistress’, ‘Goddess’, ‘Domina’ or whatever – are another very common D/s protocol. Making sure Mistress comes first is an extremely good example of a common protocol. This can apply to everything from serving her dinner before you eat to making sure she has her orgasms (or gets paid that cum tax) before you even think of cumming yourself. Obviously this is not an exhaustive list but you get the idea.

 

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Less common bdsm protocols

Some good examples of less common protocols include things like the slave keeping his eyes down at all times or the notorious capitalization rule that gives rise to statements like “W/we went to the most amazing party last weekend.” The capitalization rule gets a lot of flack for awkward grammar, but it certainly works to keep a slave’s mind focused on his inferior status! More graceful examples of unusual D/s protocols include things like the slave eating his meals from a bowl on the floor or kissing his Mistress’s cup before handing it to her when he serves her a drink.

What is ‘high protocol’?

You may see ‘high protocol’ noted in event descriptions. Generally it means that the event rules require most or all of the protocols described here, plus any others the organizers care to include. Many of the most fun (and most elegant) events are high protocol. It gives all of us a chance to live the porn fetish fantasy even if we’d find such rules tiresome in regular life. ‘High protocol’ can also describe your own need for protocol. And if you’re the kind of slave that craves high protocol this certainly should be written in to any slave contract or training program you commit to.

Protocols require work for both parties. The Domme exerts herself in choosing, communicating & enforcing her protocols. And the submissive must work at following these rules for his behavior even if they’re arbitrary & uncomfortable. But D/s protocols are a big part of the structure of any Mistress/slave relationship. They help keep both parties in their respective headspace and are often a big part of the fun. For many slaves the idea of protocols they must follow is the very essence of slavery.

What are some protocols you love – or love fantasizing about?

Useful Male Slavery

A couple weeks ago I talked about setting up a slave training program in a consensual D/s relationship. It’s important to me that anyone I’m spending MY time and energy on should be contributing at least as much to my life as I’m contributing to theirs. Preferably more, this is a Mistress-slave relationship we’re talking about! I may enjoy guiding an eager pupil but it’s not terribly exciting for me to feel like I’m working harder for my slave than he is for me.

 

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The Usefulness Inventory

This is why usefulness is an absolute requirement for me. Any submissive I accept for training must actually be useful to me somehow. I take stock of my own life regularly so that I can have a clear idea of what my needs and desires are. But I like to give everyone a fair chance; I understand that a good servant may come to me not already possessing the skills I would wish him to have. The best sort of slave, in my view, is the one who is willing & able to apply himself to learning the things I want him to know.

To help me determine how a slave prospect might be useful to me I like to take a ‘usefulness inventory’. This is basically just a list of things he knows, things he can do, and resources he has that might be useful to me. The simplest and most reliable way any slave can make himself useful is, of course, with a financial contribution. But beyond that these are some things I might look for:

Household Help

House cleaning
Doing laundry, ironing
Sewing
Cooking
Pet care
Shopping for groceries, household stuff

Yard Work

Mowing grass, edging
Tree trimming
Tending flower or vegetable beds
Garden design
Garden installation

Home Repair

Plumbing
Carpentry – framing and/or furniture making
Painting
Minor a/c maintenance (such as cleaning filters)
Minor electrical (hanging a ceiling fan, changing an outlet)
Floor refinishing or installation
Major remodeling

Personal Service

Hair styling, cutting, & hair care
Shaving legs
Doing makeup
Shopping for clothes, makeup, etc

Chauffeur

Running errands
Driving me around
Driving my friends/family
Car repair, car maintenance
Auto detailing

Business skills

Photography
Graphic design
Copywriting
Social media posting & scheduling
Research (including comparison shopping)
Personal secretary: screening calls, answering emails
Trip planning, making reservations
Any industry-specific skills (eg insurance, real estate etc)

A lot of of these items can have a findom component. A grocery shopping slave is much more useful to me if HE pays for the groceries! And for many of them I look for professional quality skills. Which means someone who actually does it for a living, or someone who has a demonstrated record of excellence. Like for instance a subguy who belongs to a garden club and has won awards for horticulture is someone I might trust to design my new patio area. For some roles I’ll not accept anyone who’s not already qualified; for those applicants a ‘slave training program’ is about training him to do things precisely how I like them done. I am very picky!

Other times a candidate doesn’t come to me having that level of skill but he’s able to learn it. And I (we!) can really have fun teaching him what he needs to know. I’m a good teacher and I have a wickedly deviant mind; I like to make those slave training lessons, shall we say, interesting? *evilsmile*

Fill out your usefulness inventory and apply to be my slave here

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A tribute to flip-flops

Those who get hot for high heels may have a hard time understanding the fetish for flip-flops. But if you take a closer look I think it’s easy to see why flip flop fans find them so exciting. Flip flops have some unique qualities that definitely inspire foot-sluts to drool.

Flip flops – official Florida footwear

It’s true! Flip flops are really Florida’s official state footwear. Our beachcomber lifestyle encourages wearing flip-flops and thong sandals pretty much everywhere. Including church, lol! We even have racks of ‘bridal flops’ in all the formal dress boutiques.

Which doesn’t mean I don’t understand that there are times & places where flip-flops are a no no. Any really classy Florida dame gets that. It says more about the vibe in Florida: so casual, laid back, & relaxed that flip flops really are acceptable at most times and places.

 

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The beauty of flip flops

I get why so many foot enthusiasts have a thing for flip flops. The way the thong thrusts between my toes, the way the straps cross the arch of my foot, can be very sexy looking. Perhaps especially for ladies like me with super high arches! The straps visually break up the bulk of the arch which can look overly massive rising from shoes like ballet flats. And the curved shape of the sole provides a lovely platform. A pretty backdrop for my bare soles and toes.

Flip flops sensuality

Flip flops are like thong panties for my feet. It’s wearing a shoe while my foot is still almost bare. Having the toes & soles exposed like that makes them irresistibly tempting. If you’re allowed close enough you might actually be able to touch them, right in the shoe.  Or even (bliss!) get your tongue right in there to lick and suck them, tasting the dirty sweat of my sexy feet.

But perhaps the most thrilling aspect to the flip flop fetishist is that sound they make.  The unmistakable soft thwick-thwack of someone walking in flip flops, or the sound of them being thwacked against a dangling foot. Flip flops are really conducive to dangling – they encourage foot-fiddling, and they slide off the foot so easily that many women dangle them quite unconsciously. But a foot Goddess like me will dangle them on purpose, knowing she’s mesmerizing & melting the minds of any nearby flip-flop fetishists. *wickedgrin*

 

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Do you have a flip flop fetish? Let’s talk about it!

 

Setting Up a Slave Training Program

As a Mistress and slave owner I always have goals for my servants. These goals will change over time. They are also tailored to the individual slave.  But I have a pretty methodical way of selecting my goals, prioritizing them, and breaking them down into manageable steps to create a slave training program. I believe this is important to get the best results from my efforts in training a slave.

BDSM slave training defined

In this context, slave training includes everything I as the Mistress wish my slave to learn in order to make him the best possible tool for me. A slave training program with me might be created & documented in several different ways, but they all share certain basics. My training programs are always part of a negotiated agreement. And they are always documented so that the slave-in-training can go back and refer to my instructions.

That last bit is important to me because I hate having to repeat myself over and over. If I’ve gone to the trouble of thinking through the job & putting my instructions in writing, even if that’s only in a quick email or text message, then I think you can go to the trouble of referring back to those instructions as needed. When a slave-prospect continually asks for my instructions to be repeated I tend to conclude he’s more interested in having my attention than in being useful to me.

 

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Assess his capabilities

But back to how I set up a slave training program: the first thing I do is to take an assessment of a potential slave’s current capabilities. I want to know all the skills and resources he has that might possibly be useful, even if I never choose to utilize those resources. I’ll make a list of ways he can be useful that includes everything from his ability to do household chores & yard work to his professional skills to how much of a financial contribution he can afford to make.

I might collect this information on a slave application. I might also collect it from conversation with the prospective slave. But I generally keep written notes on each submissive so that I too can easily refer back and refresh my memory. Modeling the behaviors I want my slaves to learn is also part of being a good leader!

Assess My desires

Two or three times a year I do inventories of my own needs & desires as well. That way I have a very clear idea of how a slave can actually be useful to me. A submissive might have lots of expertise, but that expertise may not be useful to me. When I’ve collected my information about a new slave prospect I can then match up his skills with my desires, see where he might be immediately useful, and see where he might learn to be useful in the future.

These assessments help me decide whether to accept a slave applicant for training at all. They also guide me in deciding what tasks and educational/training activities I will assign to him. As I said before I’ll always give written instructions, whether by text, email, or some other method. The act of thinking the task through then writing down exactly what I want & precisely how I want it done helps me to break things down into manageable steps. People in general deliver better results when they have clear instructions on how to do a thing. Submissive males certainly do!

Put it in writing

My written instructions on these tasks might stand alone, or they might form the basis for a negotiated slave contract. I like writing a full slave training contract because it allows me to go beyond the task at hand, creating a whole program of assignments and chores which complement each other to get the results I want from a sub. But many submissives aren’t ready or able to commit to a bdsm slave contract. With my method for setting up a slave training program I can guide him, mold him & make progress toward my goals anyway.

 

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Hey you. Yes, you. You could use some erotic slave training couldn’t you? Contact me now and start taking steps to make your fantasy a reality!

 

 

Playing Dress-up, Fetish Style

The power & pleasure of fetishwear

Fetishwear includes so much more than the obvious leather & latex. Corsets, shoes, bikinis, blue jeans, gas masks and medical uniforms; all these and more have inspired legions of fetish fashion fans. Really any clothing that people can have a fetish for has the potential for becoming “fetishwear”. Which therefore includes everything! However there are some types of clothing which are more likely to inspire erotic obsessions. Whatever your fashion fetish is, adding costume to a bdsm scene can really take the sensual intensity to the next level. Playing kinky dress-up is something I love to include in my kinky play.

What makes playing dress up fun?

Dressing for sex is fun for a lot of reasons. (Even when you’re working with a very specialized definition of sex. *wickedgrin*) It simply feels good to wear certain fabrics. My favorite silk and fur are splendid examples of textiles that are thrilling to touch. Certain items of clothing such as stockings, panties & petticoats are also great sources of sensual pleasure. The way they fit, the sounds they make, the way the fabric hugs certain parts of the body, can be very arousing indeed.

 

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Some types of fetishwear are very emotionally satisfying too. Stockings are another great example of this. They look fantastic, seducing the observer and making the wearer feel confident, sexy & powerful. Or alternately vulnerable, exposed & humiliated, depending on the context. Either response can lead to an intensely erotic experience for the wearer.

The Sexual Power of Fetishwear

Many specific fetish fashion garments have sexually powerful connotations. These symbolic associations can greatly enhance the dynamics of a bdsm scene. A military uniform conveys a message of authority, a fur coat implies luxurious, elegant superiority. A frilly, silly maid’s uniform transforms an ordinary soul into a sex object. In a way bdsm is like theater and the right fetishwear costuming can really make a scene.

The power of the fetish itself can also be a tool for domination too. When I know that a submissive has a particular clothing fetish it’s easy for me to manipulate him with it. Say I know he has a flip-flop fetish. I can deliberately wear flip flops when we got out to get him excited. And even more deliberately cross my legs and ‘thwack’ the shoe against my bare sole whenever I sit down. He’ll be putty in my hands.

I have a background in theatre as well as fashion design. So perhaps I have an especially keen appreciation of the power & pleasures of fetishwear. But in my experience nearly every kinkster has strong sexual feelings for at least one article or type of clothing. So in that sense it’s a universal fetish. What’s your fashion fetish?

 

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Come play dress up with me! 

12 steps to the perfect pedicure

Giving a decent pedicure is a very useful skill for a slave to have. I know I love it when a footslave can do a good job tending to my fine bbw feet! And learning how to give one is a great thing you can do to train yourself to be a better slave. You can start with this kind of training before you ever meet the dream foot Goddess you want to give yourself to. I call this anticipatory training.

First clean & prepare the feet

1. Start by removing old nail polish. Use an orange stick or qtip to remove all the polish from crevices. I’m very fussy about this; I hate having eg dark red scraps left on my nails when I want to paint them pale silver.

2. Soak the feet in a foot bath for 5-10 minutes. Add scented bath salts or similar for an even more pleasurable & relaxing soak.

3. Thoroughly clean the feet using a brush, loofah, or an exfoliating skin scrub. I prefer the skin scrubs as they leave my sexy soles so nice and soft and sweet smelling. Probably sweet tasting too, lol! You can buy very nice skin scrubs and you can also easily make them yourself; there are a ton of good recipes on the internet.

4. Clean under the nails and gently push down the cuticles. Trim away any dead skin around the nails & cuticles. Be very careful not to cut too much, Mistress doesn’t like getting nicked! Soaking helps to soften the skin and makes this task much easier. Special tools (nippers, files, orange sticks etc) exist to make this job easier too.

5. Smooth the heels & soles with a pumice stone (or similar tool) if needed. My pretty bbw feet need to be regularly tended to or else I’ll develop icky calluses from running around barefoot here in Florida.

6. Clean & trim the nails and file smooth. Buff the nail surface if it’s rough or cloudy.

 

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Getting to the fun part

7. Slather on lotion & massage it in. Perhaps my favorite part, I LOVE getting foot rubs!

8. Swipe nails with polish remover to remove lotion oils which can prevent the polish from adhering properly to the nail. Then apply one coat of clear base polish.

You always want to use base coat on the toenails because otherwise the polish will stain the nails, leaving them an ugly yellow color. This is especially true with the dark colors I like to wear.

9. Apply 2 thin, even coats of color polish. For best results don’t glop it on and do wait until each coat is thoroughly dry before applying next coat.

10. Add stickers, rhinestones, decals or other decorations. You can stick decorative things on to the nails with clear polish or (better) nail glue.

11. Finish with one coat of clear gloss top coat. If you’ve used chunkier pieces of nail art use a thicker “gelous” top coat; this will help seal in the art & make sure it stays affixed firmly to the nails. You can also apply multiple layers of top coat to make your nail art really secure.

12. While you are waiting for polish to dry you should be massaging Mistress’s hands with lotion unless she has instructed you to do something else!

 

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And that’s all there is to it – 12 steps to the perfect pedicure. Get good at this and you’ll have a much better chance of pleasing my pretty bbw feet! And to help you give the best possible pedicure (and beat out any other footslaves who might be competing for access to Goddess’s gorgeous bbw feet) I’m even going to share a few bonus pro tips:

  • For the base coat you can choose a polish that brightens, strengthens, etc to help improve nail health & appearance.
  • Just replace polish that’s gone gloopy. The old wives’ trick of adding a few drops of polish remover to thin it out really doesn’t give very good results.
  • However you CAN clean out your polish brush with acetone every once in a while to help keep it (and the rest of the polish in the bottle) from getting gloopy & hard to work with.
  • Keep a qtip soaked in polish remover handy while painting the nails to quickly wipe off any smudges.
  • For an extra pampering finish you can rub scented moisturizing oil into the cuticles. This feels deliciously indulgent. Plus it helps to soothe any damage done while filing/buffing/trimming.

 

Do you have any great foot care tips? Tell me about them in the comments! And if you’ve got a hankering to see more of my bewitching bbw feet then head on over to my foot fetish page now.  ;D

 

Self-training for BDSM Slaves

Odds are you’re fantasized about what it would be like to be ‘owned’. Maybe you even hope to make that fantasy a reality one day. But what is there about you which might make a truly superior woman want to own you? What kinds of talents, skills & resources do you have that would make you a worthy investment of her time & attention? One way to prepare for ownership is by training yourself in ways that will hopefully prepare you to be a better slave even before you find your dream domme. I like to call this sort of activity ‘anticipatory training’.

What is anticipatory training?

Anticipatory training includes everything you might do on your own to prepare and make yourself a better catch for your prospective future domme. There are a lot of possibilities for how you can spend your time & energy. Just like you would put some planning into any other big project it will pay for you to put some thought into this.

There’s no reason why you can’t have a slave training program mapped out for yourself, and every reason why you should. Gaining skills that might please your future Mistress is enough of a win all by itself. But there are other benefits to anticipatory training too. For one thing, if you put some thought into your slave training program you can tailor what you learn to the sort of domme you hope to have. For instance, if you have a huge foot fetish it could be very useful to learn to give professional-quality pedicures. Skills like that will help to attract the foot Goddess you’re hoping to find.

 

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Another VERY important benefit of anticipatory training is that it gets you in the habit of learning things. Regardless of what you already know your dream domme will want you to learn to do things HER way. Practicing the habit of self-discipline will prepare you to be disciplined about reaching whatever goals she may set for you.

Training yourself to be a better slave

So what are some things you might do as anticipatory training?  To start with you can learn useful skills. As I mentioned above, exactly which skills you learn might be tailored to the kind of domme you hope to attract. But many skills – such as cooking, sewing, home repairs, giving manicures & pedicures – would be appreciated by most women. You can learn lots of things by just searching for tutorials online. But you can also take things to a whole new level and really set yourself apart by taking professional level courses.

You can also educate yourself on a more general level. Read a new book every week.  Start watching documentaries. Get to know the history of where you live, or become an expert in local highlights so that when she visits your town you can be the perfect guide. Learn about art, music, architecture so you’ll have things to talk about with the cultured & sophisticated woman you long to kneel to. Learning such things will make you more attractive to a truly superior woman. Plus they’ll keep your life full and rich while you’re waiting to meet her.

 

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One final area that you can train yourself in anticipation of being owned is simply by taking care of yourself. Many leaders in the BDSM community will say that the first rule for any slave is “protect the property”. Among other things this means that your responsibility when you’re not owned is to take the best possible care of yourself. Take care of yourself so that when you accept her collar you are surrendering to her a well-cared for piece of valuable property and not a busted up piece of junk.

Taking care of yourself in this context obviously covers diet and exercise but also so much more. It means taking care of your health: get those regular physicals and teeth cleanings and address any problems that might turn up. It includes your grooming. Beyond the basics of showering, shaving, and brushing your teeth you can do SO much: taking care of your skin & nails (wear sunscreen!), keep your hair nicely styled, wear good cologne. You might try doing some ‘manscaping’ and getting your back, chest, or other bits waxed. And you certainly should make sure your wardrobe is decent. Banish all the old, stained, and torn things from your closet and try for some style when replacing them. Consider hiring a woman stylist to help you; what better way to know what might appeal to other women?

How NOT to train yourself

There are a few things that you absolutely should NOT consider as anticipatory training. By all means you can do these things if you like. Just don’t fall into the mistake of thinking of them as services or skills that will in any way set you apart from other subguys. Using any kind of sex toys falls into this category. Again, it’s ok to play but recognize that it is for YOU, not for any future mistress. I’ve yet to meet the domme who thinks “able to take a huge butt plug” is a good selling point for a slave! The one possible exception to this is wearing a chastity device. Finding a well-fitting device and getting accustomed to wearing it can be a lengthy process. There are many dommes who would be happy to find you already “broken in” this way.

One last thing you should never think of as anticipatory training is going out and buying tons of bdsm gear or sexy clothes. (I’m talking to you, sissy!) Most dominant women won’t care what you have in your toy chest; they’ll enjoy picking out the things they want for you. If you’re devoting a lot of resources to buying things you want while being stingy with her she’s likely to be offended. And you could ruin your own chances with her.

 

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Are you hoping to be owned one day? Let’s talk about how you can improve yourself & become a better catch!